A baby for Thanksgiving...

Sabrina was born two weeks early, on November 25th. The day before Thanksgiving. It wasn't planned to have her early. I had a cesarean with Erick before but I really wanted to try having her the right way. I didn't have much choice, but the doctor's assure me that she was going to be fine.

I was a bit nervous, of course they didn't try to stop it at that point, but after my water broke, my labor stopped. I had to have the c-section, and on top of everything, I had a team of medical students that I let be a part of my experience. Was I going to tell them no, when they are all standing there? I couldn't remember how many there were, at least eight of them. They came in the operating room at the same time, and one of them took pictures for me, in graphic detail! She was born at 11:11 am. Officially they said 11:12, but they waited a minute to call it. I felt this was a sign, because as a kid, and even now, 11 was my favorite number. I used to make a wish, whenever I saw the time was 11:11 on a clock.

I had her name all picked out before she was born, and I knew what she would look like. I wished and prayed for a girl who had curly hair like Erick, and I wanted dimples! The day she was born, everyone told me she was the most beautiful baby they ever saw. She had dark brown hair, it was slightly kinked at that point. And of course she smiled, and was able to lift her head up off the nurse's shoulder, showing off her dimple. (I have a pic of that) I was so pleased! I couldn't stop staring at her, she was so quiet, and she had one small flaw when she was born, one of her ears were folded, but it was still cute.

The day after, it was Thanksgiving. Jason missed out on the big dinner with the family, but my mom came and brought us some of it. My room was really big and nice, it had a wooden floor. Jason slept in the chair next to me, he was very sweet to be with me all of the time. By this point, I barely went anywhere, because I had a history of blood clots in my legs, and I had this thing on them to heat and massage them. On that night, I was dozing off because of the pain killers, I was on, and at that point, Jason was holding the baby up against his shoulder. I didn't realize it, but he was very sleepy too. When I had my eyes closed, all of the sudden, I heard a loud smack on the floor....Yes, it was the baby! I knew exactly what it was, when I heard it, and I hopped up so fast, and I bent down to get her, she wasn't crying!

Even then, as I was screaming for the nurse, he acted as if he didn't know what had happened! Two nurses came, and they rushed her away to check her out, I was left there, with him alone, because they wouldn't let me go. I tried to limit talking to him because I wasn't going to say anything nice to him. He felt very bad. When people came back to talk to me, they said she was fine, and it was luck that she hit her head where she did. She just had a slight bump. BUT they weren't going to do anything else about it but watch her! I told them no way! I want a cat scan! So after insisting on it, I was allowed to go where the radiologist was and watch the images download. He pointed out that she was fine. I prayed and prayed that she would be.

Afterwards, I wouldn't allow Jason to hold her. And I was even worried about my own ability to do so. So I left her with the nurses as much as possible. When it was time to go home two days later, after I got dressed and signed the discharge papers. I was waiting to go, when I was laying on the bed, and I suddenly felt a gush of warmth down my legs, and to my knees. I looked under the blanket and it was blood! It was a lot of blood, and it was coming from my belly! They were panicked! So was I! Because of my sudden jump up when the accident happened, and because I was taking shots in my stomach for clots, I tore my belly open!
(Okay at this point, you're thinking, Jennie's blog is just too gross to read anymore, but it really happened!)

To make a long story shorter, I wasn't healing very good. I had to be readmitted and I was put on the surgical floor, in a room the size of a closet! I felt left alone there, and because the baby was discharged, they bent the rules to let her stay with me, but they weren't going to take care of her! I was not allowed to have anyone else stay either, nor was there room, because the bed was against the wall, they had to pull the infant unit they let me use, out into the hallway, to even walk on the side of the bed! I really tried to fight depression, and when they thought I was ready to go home again, when I stood up, the blood would come rushing out! Before they could glue it, they treated it like a wound, and they packed the holes in my belly with white gauze. I had to watch them remove it, and feel it, when they stuffed it in and out! It was a horrible two weeks! I felt so alone.

But I got through it, and even when I came home, I was on restrictions, and I had to give myself shots in my belly for a while. But Sabrina was fine, she slept through the night like a pro. I dressed her up like a doll, and even though some people say it was gas, she smiled at me everyday! I know Heavenly Father blessed me with her. I know people have those jokes about being dropped on your head as a baby, but that is nothing to joke about. I would have never told anyone, but I feel it was a true test of spiritual strength during that time. My faith was sort of weak, but my prayers were answered. I didn't care what pain I went through, I would have done anything to have gotten to her sooner. Accidents happen, it could have happened to me, or even a nurse. I forgave Jason shortly after, I trusted him with her and all of the rest of my babies. It was just a lesson we had learned through the hard way, unfortunately. Nevertheless, I was grateful things turned out okay, and it was certainly a Thanksgiving I could never forget.