In the past, I refused to pay the ten bucks to be a part of the P.T.A. This year, I decided to get myself more involved, because for one, I did not have to pay and for two, I haven't done it before and so I thought why not?
The group at the Middle School is called the P.A.T., I am not sure what it stands for exactly. It's like the P.T.A. but is not associated with the national group. When I did things for them before I just signed up to help out with a book fair or something small like that. When I lived in St. George, I went a little further and agreed to be in charge of creating a spook house for the middle school's Harvest Fair, and it was so much fun. Everything went according to plan, I got my whole family involved, and I still didn't have to join the P.T.A. to do it. That is far as I went with it, until this school year.
The reason why I decided to write about this is, because my fears of joining have confirmed exactly what I did not want to happen! In my recent experience, I have met some real power hungry moms that are the kind of people who ignite Lifetime movies and soap operas. (And I thought the cheerleading thing was bad) Why do people have to make life so difficult for the rest of us? The purpose of having a P.T.A. or P.A.T. is to help teachers and students, right?
My first impression of this group was strange, I signed up for a few things on a paper at the open house. I knew something was weird when a lady ran (yes, she did run!) out the door to stop me from getting in my van. She was the President of this group and she wanted me to be the a chairman for the middle school dances. I said okay, but I have never done it before. This should have been a warning sign!
My first meeting I found out how serious of a group they were, it last almost three hours! When I saw the money that they had in their treasury, (about 12,000!) I thought wow. Half of that was from a CD, they were going to cash this year. The police officers from Lee and the middle school asked us for a $1,200 donation for trailer for a go- cart they already bought. We also voted to buy projections for classrooms, I thought that was cool. Then it was also fundraiser time and I did not enjoy this process at all. For one thing, they tried getting me involved with it, and I when I heard that my President will not spend her usual $900 of personally buying stuff due to the economy, it made me sick. (because I hate buying anything from stupid fundraisers) I did end up buying the most cheapestly made $6.00 item in the whole magazine, so that my daughter was allowed to attend the fundraiser party.
My part in this fundraiser was helping sort the stuff at the school to deliver, and when I was there I had a chance to mingle with the President, Karen. She was stressed out. Apparently she was having problems with the fundraiser and getting parents to pick up the stuff. Some of it sat there for two weeks and she wanted to send it home on the bus but the Principle was against it. (he was not against the money it made!) She also gave me a warning. She told me that she could not wait to be out of it all, she also told me to watch my back, because I seemed nice and that some of these woman love to take advantage of others. She said she has never dealt with a more backbiting group than these people and if I ever was in charge of something, I would find this out! I thought this was really strange! She was really serious about it.
Why do I always have to learn the hard way? I could go into this in detail but to make a long story not as long, I will try to sum it up. Through this, I thought if I was just nice to everyone, I would be okay. Not true! I found out that I can trust no one, and everyone is my enemy, that is true. (as far as P.A.T. goes) I found out that looks could kill, and that e-mails will always be shared with others. I found out that some people can be very immature, in spite of their age. I found out that some people apologize and they never tend to mean it, and it's just another tool to use to be a meaner person. I will never be involved again! I am currently still in charge of the dances, and I am finishing up my duty with the school carnival, and then I am done. I will never get involved again unless I am directly helping a class or teacher. I even went as far to voice my opinion with some of the ladies and they agreed with me, in fact they want me to be more involved next year. BUT I do not have it in me to be their liberator, I don't want to fight with other people, not because I am not good at it, (I am actually really good at it) but conflict is of the devil, and I don't want to go there! I hope none of what I am saying is to any offense of other parents who love being involved with their schools, maybe for some reason, it is only this particular group that has mental problems.
5 years ago
3 comments:
As I tell my students: Welcome to life in the real world. A lot of us don't honestly appreciate how sheltered our lives have been until we begin doing stuff like this, and learning what the real outside world is really like. The applicable quote here is, "It's a real jungle out there!" Take it from one who's been there and done that: the situation you describe is NOT at all unusual, not in the least. In fact, it's downright representative of most of the organizations I've worked with. That's why I like crawling back into my own little hole now that my kids are all grown up. My outside organization participation is now pretty much serving as president to a group of tired, worn-out, retired old men who are so jaded they don't even talk about politics anymore. One day, I hope to become just like them!
Sorry about the psychos. I guess I'll chalk no P.A.T. as another bonus for homeschooling...
I was involved in such organizations for nearly 18 years, and for the most part, it was a very positive experience. I agree that the "sell candy or wrapping fundraisers" are totally for the birds and I just stayed out of it. But I loved the activity fundraisers like carnivals.
Most of the time, the people were well-meaning and helpful. Just one or two of the people you mention in leadership positions can cause HUGE problems, though.
You will find bad eggs, who seek power and backbite, in ANY group of people. I prefer working with men to women because they are less catty as a rule. But it isn't because they are PAT instead of PTA, or because it is school-related. It is in soccer leagues, scouts (girl and boy), church (LOTS of these problems in other wards), little leagues, gymnastics, band boosters, and many other groups. I found sports groups the worst by far, since the "winning" attitude can create problems. "If my kid doesn't win, it's your fault...", but we CAN'T all win every game!
It is worse when you have "working mothers" involved. That is where you get the bad fundraisers because they have money but no time for their kids.
Hang in there and do what is right, realize that in a few years the faces will be different, and do like you've done. Take your piece of the action and make it shine and ignore the power trips. Don't let them win by giving up on helping!
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