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20090127

Turning My Smile Upside Down...

Who ever said it took more muscles to frown than to smile? They are stupid!

Most of the time my smile is fake, even when I am happy. One day, about six years ago, I became friends with my pal Kristie. I was a Primary teacher at the time and my friend Kristie told me I looked mad, so she didn't talk to me much. I told her I wasn't, it's just my normal relaxed face, it's just too much effort to smile. Since then, I have made an effort to do so, and I noticed Jason had the same problem too.

With all the crazy crap that has been going on, I have been fighting it for years, I decided I am not going to fake smile any more. I am just too lazy! I am tired. Since I decided to do this, I notice that my look effects other people. People who are kind enough to ask what is wrong, and I just tell them nothing. Sometimes they don't even say anything, like a cashier's smile will wipe right off when she sees me. Inside, it makes me secretly laugh, because I am realizing that because of their reaction, it's making me grin. I have also noticed another good reason not to smile is because I don't want to get laugh lines. (wrinkles) Do you agree? Or am I just crazy? Okay, enough said....

20090126

The Five Things List

I was tagged and I thought it would be fun to answer...

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago, At This This Time:

1. Jason and I were in negations for building a house in Hilliard, Ohio
2. I was the Enrichment leader in our ward
3. Clark was about 5 months old, Sabrina was 2, Erick was 4
4. I weighed about 40 lbs. lighter
5. My grandmother had just died of cancer, and we disowned my Aunts and Uncles because they put Royal B**** on her head stone and did not tell us that she had died until days later! (It's a story for Dr. Phil)

5 Things That Was On My List Today:

1. Clean the kitchen and dishes
2. Write on my blog and read my friend's blog
3. Finalize preparation for the school's carnival with guests
4. Watch the episode of Days, that I missed on Friday
5. Figure out how I am going to use the toilet paper holder my dad gave me

5 Snacks That I Love:

1. Buttered Kettle Popcorn
2. Carrots dipped in French dressing
3. Strawberry Toasted Strudels
4. Chocolate covered Macadamian nuts
5. Oreos dipped in skim milk

5 Things I Would Do If I Became A Billionaire!:

1. I would first Pay Tithing and thank the Lord
2. Pay off my debts
3. Move my family into a modern home that over looks the sea, in Auke Bay, Alaska
4. Invite all of my friends to come visit and I would find a way to pay them back for their friendship.
5. Invest in future technology that helps the environment, people, and makes more money.

I am tagging, Nikki, Kristie S. , Candy G.

20090125

The Literal Mountains, We Face.....

On Friday, I had a opportunity to go to Massanuttan with the youth group to go tubing. Though it had been 60 degrees earlier in the day, the machines there had produced a good enough snow pack to have fun on. It was our families first time there, and before we began, I told myself I was too chicken to go down it. I was afraid of getting hurt.

It's hard to believe that I am scared of heights, and Massanuttan is nothing compared to Park City, Utah or Eaglecrest, in Alaska. Everyone knows by now that I learned to ski when I was in eighth grade through our school in Juneau. It was part of our gym class. First I learned how to cross country ski, which was terrifying because the ski's are longer and thinner. If I ever tried to turn, I would just fall over. It was also quite a work out. Our school even took us out into the wilderness to go on these cross country trails. It was so much fun. After this, we leaned about downhill skiing. Which was a tad bit harder.

I can't remember all that had happened to me, but if you ever saw Goofy in a Disney cartoon about skiing, that was me! I got the complete outfit, and I tried really hard to never fall down. (It seems, if you fall down once, it happens over and over) I remember I was one out of a few teens that had to get the beginning lesson and I thought the bunny hill was frightening. I couldn't stay on the pole that took me to the top, and I would snowplow all the way to the bottom and past that. I had some friends who wanted me to go up with them, (to the tamest hill they said) on the second day of lessons. So I did. I can not count how many times, I had a accident.

The chair lift was scary, no seat belts! I learned to hang on to my poles, or else they fell down below. I learned not to click my ski's together, or else they would fall too. I learned not to ride the lift if it was blowing snow, because it would shake so badly, and I thought I was going to die.
I also learned the hard way, to be ready to get off the chair, because it was not going to stop! I learned through trial and error, it's amazing I did not get killed. That first trip, my friends rode right off the chair and left me. Though the run was wide, I still managed to find trees. I tried to do a zig zag down, and at some point, I ended up bombing it, and so I did what I saw over people do and held my knees together. I lived. I lived even though the time I slid down the hill with one ski on my back. I tried and tried and I got better. But then, I got cocky. And that was a mistake!

Don't we all do that in real life? We go to face a obstacle, it's hard at first, and then we end up able to manage it but if we sit there, and say, it's not so bad, it bites us in the butt? Well I did that. After a few times on the highest lift, a few years later, I let a boy talk me into going on this expert hill, that had mobiles and because he had been ex-ski patrol, I wanted to show off my skiing abilty too. It was a quiet afternoon, no one on the hill, and I when we got off, we had a corner we had to go around, he took off like a light! I wanted to catch up, and I tried, but before I knew it, I hit those little bumps in the run, and I did a flip! I remember sitting up and my legs were criss-crossed, my poles were lost, and someone came down to help me. To make a long story short, it was embarrassing, my gym teacher's dad was the ski patrol leader and he took me down in a sled to the medics office. I dislocated my knee again, and had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks. It's another lesson I learned the hard way, and since then I had only skied once, a year later. I was really careful, and I did not fall on the hill but I did, in the parking lot. The other night, before it was time to go, I faced my fear and went down on a tube. It was not bad, in fact it was awesome!

20090115

P.A.T. is like the P.T.A. but it's more like a secret cult!

In the past, I refused to pay the ten bucks to be a part of the P.T.A. This year, I decided to get myself more involved, because for one, I did not have to pay and for two, I haven't done it before and so I thought why not?

The group at the Middle School is called the P.A.T., I am not sure what it stands for exactly. It's like the P.T.A. but is not associated with the national group. When I did things for them before I just signed up to help out with a book fair or something small like that. When I lived in St. George, I went a little further and agreed to be in charge of creating a spook house for the middle school's Harvest Fair, and it was so much fun. Everything went according to plan, I got my whole family involved, and I still didn't have to join the P.T.A. to do it. That is far as I went with it, until this school year.

The reason why I decided to write about this is, because my fears of joining have confirmed exactly what I did not want to happen! In my recent experience, I have met some real power hungry moms that are the kind of people who ignite Lifetime movies and soap operas. (And I thought the cheerleading thing was bad) Why do people have to make life so difficult for the rest of us? The purpose of having a P.T.A. or P.A.T. is to help teachers and students, right?

My first impression of this group was strange, I signed up for a few things on a paper at the open house. I knew something was weird when a lady ran (yes, she did run!) out the door to stop me from getting in my van. She was the President of this group and she wanted me to be the a chairman for the middle school dances. I said okay, but I have never done it before. This should have been a warning sign!

My first meeting I found out how serious of a group they were, it last almost three hours! When I saw the money that they had in their treasury, (about 12,000!) I thought wow. Half of that was from a CD, they were going to cash this year. The police officers from Lee and the middle school asked us for a $1,200 donation for trailer for a go- cart they already bought. We also voted to buy projections for classrooms, I thought that was cool. Then it was also fundraiser time and I did not enjoy this process at all. For one thing, they tried getting me involved with it, and I when I heard that my President will not spend her usual $900 of personally buying stuff due to the economy, it made me sick. (because I hate buying anything from stupid fundraisers) I did end up buying the most cheapestly made $6.00 item in the whole magazine, so that my daughter was allowed to attend the fundraiser party.

My part in this fundraiser was helping sort the stuff at the school to deliver, and when I was there I had a chance to mingle with the President, Karen. She was stressed out. Apparently she was having problems with the fundraiser and getting parents to pick up the stuff. Some of it sat there for two weeks and she wanted to send it home on the bus but the Principle was against it. (he was not against the money it made!) She also gave me a warning. She told me that she could not wait to be out of it all, she also told me to watch my back, because I seemed nice and that some of these woman love to take advantage of others. She said she has never dealt with a more backbiting group than these people and if I ever was in charge of something, I would find this out! I thought this was really strange! She was really serious about it.

Why do I always have to learn the hard way? I could go into this in detail but to make a long story not as long, I will try to sum it up. Through this, I thought if I was just nice to everyone, I would be okay. Not true! I found out that I can trust no one, and everyone is my enemy, that is true. (as far as P.A.T. goes) I found out that looks could kill, and that e-mails will always be shared with others. I found out that some people can be very immature, in spite of their age. I found out that some people apologize and they never tend to mean it, and it's just another tool to use to be a meaner person. I will never be involved again! I am currently still in charge of the dances, and I am finishing up my duty with the school carnival, and then I am done. I will never get involved again unless I am directly helping a class or teacher. I even went as far to voice my opinion with some of the ladies and they agreed with me, in fact they want me to be more involved next year. BUT I do not have it in me to be their liberator, I don't want to fight with other people, not because I am not good at it, (I am actually really good at it) but conflict is of the devil, and I don't want to go there! I hope none of what I am saying is to any offense of other parents who love being involved with their schools, maybe for some reason, it is only this particular group that has mental problems.

20090110

Y.M.C.A.

We have the Y nearby and it's natural that we would want to go there to try to get ourselves healthier. It's cheaper compared to gold's gym and others, but because of that, we have to deal with things like poop in the men's swimsuit dryer for a week, the rest homes unloading people there for most of the day, towels that have yellow stains, and so on. We put up with it, because we desire to be healthier. (and it's a easy way to get our whole family showers at once!)

I remember when we first moved here, we got a pass. That spring, people were using the pool often to prepare for the Special Olympics. Michelle G. was working there as a life guard, and two times in a row, I am the one to discover poop in the pool! I learned not to step on a brown particle in the pool, it might smear! This problem, added with the rumors of gay men having a meet and greet in the locker room made us quit going.

This summer, we decided to go back since we moved so close. Surely those problems were gone. I am very cautious about things floating in the water, and I try to avoid old men who will sit in the hot tub for hours looking to start up a conversation. (Ulgh, no offense to anyone who is old that reads this, I consider any one old that is 35 +) I am no catch and I am not pretty in a swimsuit, but they always talk to me unless Jason and the kids are with me. Then the boys have complained that naked men walk around the locker room, even though there is a sign posted against it. The latest problem happened on Saturday, when we went. Clark discovered poop in the swimsuit dryer after a older man used it. The boys did not tell me about it until that night and they did not tell the staff. They figured that someone else would. Then we went there on Monday night before closing. Same thing! I told the life guard and she said it would be taken care of. BUT it was not. We went again on Tuesday night, THE SAME THING was there, and we told a friend who works there. (judging from the guy's reaction, I think he didn't want to deal with it) So do you think it was gone after that? Well...we went yesterday,(Friday) and Jason says there are tiny particles left. Gross.... I think every time I hear that song, I will think of that, whether I want to or not.

20090106

Cat Scratch Fever!


I am sure you have heard about what happened, this time last year. It was cold, I had been sick practically the whole month of December and I felt like I was never going to get better. I was demanding to be babied like Jason demands when he just has a cold. It had been real cold outside and the last thing I wanted to hear was that he had some kind of cramp. So then one day, a few days later he said he had a hard bump on his left pelvic region. It was true, and unnatural . It worried me and I told him that I would take him to my doctor. (He has rarely gone to the doctor for anything) Then suddenly after he had carried a bucket full of huge logs for the fire, he complained his pain was worse.

I called the quick care and they referred him to the ER. He gave me such a hard time, he really wanted to go, but when he walked in the door, he saw the people and ran out! (Oh brother!) After arguing with him about it, I called my parents and they told him to go in. So then he did.

At least a hour passes and we get in there, this was about 11pm. We were both so tired. What could this be, I worried. When we were there, we saw the doctor once, no test, and then a surgeon came in to our surprise. We had no idea what were they thinking when we were waiting. Jason wanted to walk out the door. The surgeon felt it, and then said he knew exactly what it was, a strangulated hernia! He drew us a picture, and said it could be fatal if he didn't get worked on right away. Suddenly my heart dropped, poor Jason! Here, I was being mean to him. The doctor said he had been working all day but he can get this done in 30 mins. After that, things moved really quickly. Too quickly! I called Bro. Swinson to give him a blessing and he arrived there as they were wheeling him away. Did I add that Jason was scared too?

We sat there, together in the waiting room. One am rolled around and Jason's surgery was a hour in. I had so many worried thoughts. It helped to know that he was there to comfort me. Then as the doctor came back, he tripped because he was so tired! (I thought that was not a good sign) He told me it was not a hernia, which could have waited until morning, but it was a infected lymph node that did not appear normal. He said it would go in for biopsy .

After a week of not knowing, we went to see the doctor. We prayed it was not cancer. He said it was something unusual. He said it was either one of two things, a rare disease found in Asian decent, or cat scratch fever. What? That darn cat! (We had three at the time.) He said if our cat was a carrier, any of us could of gotten it, and we still could get it. He didn't need surgery after all, if he would have gotten a simple blood test, he could of had meds for it. The disease could have caused swelling on any lymph mode. Usually happens in neck. It did for my friend Diana, who lived down the road from us. She contracted it in the spring and because the doctors were baffled, she went through some really scary moments and costly tests! Doctors from AMC told her because of it's growth rate, they thought she had cancer and they needed to get all five swollen nodes out! Which would have made horrible scars. The doctor sent her up to UVA to see a surgeon there. He was a older, more experienced guy and he had her tested for the diease, and yes, that is all it was! Now her neck is almost back to normal. Unbelieveable!

This was another lesson learned the hard way! I hope people who read my blog, will learn from all of my stupid mistakes! I write this stuff so that I may remember and not make these costly mistakes again! But it seems that I am still making them, when will I ever learn?

20090101

Happy New Year, GOOD-BYE CURSE!

2008 has been one of the worst year's ever in my life! Anyone who knows me well may have heard me talking about my curse. I truly felt that way. Every week something bad has happened. Of course good things happened too, I am aware of that. But because it was a year's worth of stuff, I can't remember everything thing that happened, but here is a example...

-In Jan. Jason had unnecessary surgery, which we believed for a week he may have had cancer, and it ended up being cat scratch fever, and left us with a big bill!
-Mortgage and house problems (too numerous to recount)
-The whole we are going to move and not going to move, and then did move thing, it was awful! That was two months of torture!
-We gave our dog away, that was sad for the kids
-We had problems with neighbor kids at our old house.
-My parent's having fights, and I got in the middle of it, which I should have not.
-Worrying about my parent's going to hospital for stuff.
-Dria almost lost her eye.
-Car problems with the black car and being stranded twice.
-Replacing 5 tires on the van, because of holes in the tires.
-Problems with neighbor over the cat.
-Having two cats die, in my arms, each suddenly, one week apart.
-I had a huge fight with old friends which resulted badly.
-My sister drama
-My brother drama
-Having the power off for a week because my payment was lost in cyber space, during the time I had company visiting!
-Laptop cord issues
-Issues with cub scouts
-Cheerleader disputes
-Thinking I got the art job again because I was asked to come back and then it was given to someone else, that was heartbreaking, it's one of the reasons why I didn't sub this year.
-Finding out why Erick had lost more than 50lbs in a few months time and why he was doing badly in school, is because he has diabetes. That was a life changing thing for all of us.
-Getting stomach flu more than a few times in my family.
-The dentist torturing my mouth more than once, and this final time, he really hurt me and half of my tongue is still numb on one side! This happened on Dec. 23rd, and the office is closed until the 6th, I don't know what I going to do about it.
-My big TV blew out
-Finding out jobs we thought were promising, didn't work out for Jason.

The list goes on and on. I guess I am just a complainer, and I know everyone has problems, we just have to get through them the best we can. I wish my curse was gone, but as we settled down on New Year's Day, we discovered that my dad's wallet was missing. So what is the magic words? Abra-ca-dabra? I would think the magic words would start out as "Heavenly Father..." Maybe I haven't been praying hard or sincerely enough to turn things around. What can I do? Well I guess I just have to try harder to do what the Lord commands, and maybe the curse will go away quietly. Here's hoping that 2009, will be better for everyone!