Do you believe in Karma? You know the thing in which I am speaking is, superstition I suppose. The sort of thing that you know if you do a certain thing one way, and not the right way,so then it backfires? Sometimes I feel like I deserve it to backfire, especially when I don't follow the rules. When it happens, I only have myself to blame. It's like those sayings, you have to give to get,and work if you want to play, and study if you want to pass, etc... Why can't I just once receive the prize without having to play the game? Man, is there any such thing as a karma killer?
20100702
20100427
Young Love?
I have created a monster... I made the mistake of sharing some (some, not all just rated g stuff) of my past relationship stories with my daughter Sabrina, and now it's biting me in the butt.
I may have shared in my past that I had crushes on boys too, at a young age. It started in second grade, I loved my friend Tyrone, in Cali. He lived in the same apartments as I, just a few doors down. He fit the typical description, which is my ideal boy, athletic, and dark haired. I stopped him one day while he was riding his bike, and I just randomly kissed him on the cheek. He rode away of course, and after that, his mom kinda kept us apart. So sad... Anyways, later I had a boy that was my pal, Peter, to whom I would settle for, but he was kind of a geek. But then love struck once more, in fourth grade, I became obsessed with Kasey McIntosh-Wells, a boy one grade older than I. He looked like Tyrone. And he was on my soccer team for two years in a row. This was my worst crush ever. So afraid to even say a word to him. In a previous blog, I shared the story of how I revenged his take down.
Anyways, then came Jeremy. Who was a blond, but I think our feelings were mutual. He lived far away and I only saw him at church activities. I considered him my first real boyfriend. He gave my gifts and he was the first boy I ever danced with, I thought I might marry this boy, someday. But I did a very bad thing... Because we hardly saw each other, I got kinda of confused about the love I had. I also loved another and another at the same time! I was a foolish girl. It was Rob, who was in my classes, always flirting with me, the cutest boy in the school, I believed. Then along came Danny, who was in 9th grade. I really didn't love him, I just went along with it because he was the coolest kid on the bus. He was too old for me. He wanted to hold my hand, and wanted me to sit in the back seat with him. His friends chewed, and it was gross. I know now, he liked me more than I knew. He made me a wooden heart in shop class, that said Danny loves Jennie. Very sweet. So I finally broke it off with him, just a little creeped out. I would still be thinking of Jeremy, and marring him someday, but then he moved away, and we wrote letters a couple of times until I moved to Alaska.
The reason why I am sharing this, is because I think the same thing is happening to Sabrina. She loves the attention the boys give her. So far, three boys have professed their love for her this year. And each time, she said it back. So I asked, why? Do you really love them? She replied," Well what am I supposed to say?"
I told her, to tell them that your too young to know what love is. Or that's nice, thanks. But either way, it's going to hurt their feelings. Better to tell the truth. So, this year, she had the most popular boy as a boyfriend, and he said he loved her. A week later, she dumped him for another. Who said it also to her. Her ex hates her with a passion now. And her new boyfriend is very loyal and has been her friend for two years. He was always waiting in the wings to have his chance. BUT, this is going too fast. And the fact he says he's a vampire, is too weird. And I already gave him the Virtue talk. And this past Sat. we went to Skatetown as a fam, and he met us there. And things became very awkward. Because a older taller boy, who says he's home schooled, made it painfully obvious that he was smitten by her. He and her boyfriend both held her hands with her, during the couples skate for two songs. We left early when Ian shoved the kid away. It was getting out of hand, because she would not tell this boy to buzz off. And as we walked out the door, she secretly gave him her number... The next day, he said he loved her, and she gave him the same response! And I said why? I told him, not text her anymore and she was too young. I also told her it wasn't fair to Ian and she should tell them both, she can't have any boyfriend. I grabbed her cell this morning, and that boy texted her over 100 times, in one day. Next step, I took away her phone minutes. But the thing that is biting my butt now is, she told me, "Mom, even you had two boyfriends at the same time, so that's what I am doing" What? WHAT! Oh man....
Posted by Jen at 10:17 AM 1 comments
20100122
Where Have I Been?
I am going to make it a mission to write more often. SO many things has happened, that I, myself, (the one with such a great memory) can not remember everything that has happened lately. I think it's because I have tried to block some of it out. I must be doing a good job of it.
You know, haven't you had some of those days or moments in your life that you wish you were too doped up to remember? Well, I haven't been doping myself, but sometimes I wish I could. One of the things that keeps me going on in this life is the fact that someday, in the future, life will be better for us. And this crap that I deal with emotionally, will be a distant, slightly humorous memory.
I hate having to be the human calender or I guess, Blackberry for my family. Jason is a grown man, we have been married for almost seventeen years! I am sick of the excuse that he is a typical man, doesn't know any pin numbers, passwords, account numbers, birthdays, sizes, etc., etc. Not fair, I say. Is it too late to opt out having to know those things too? I could try, but all of us, especially the kids, would suffer for it.
(thinking....)
I guess I rather not have my memory wiped any time soon. That would surely suck. But that doesn't mean I can't pretend. Isn't blogs great? It's like cheap therapy.
Posted by Jen at 11:43 PM 0 comments